This is for you widow-moms and homeschool moms — or ANY mamas who wonder if what you are accomplishing is ever enough.
In my last post, I gave a glimpse of the FACT that we are at the beginning of YEAR FOUR without Michael. SERIOUSLY, grief created a TIME WARP! That time warp really causes me to question my parenting if I allow it. I can celebrate the MANY small things [and some valued big things] that we lived and accomplished over these three [yes, THREE!] years, but I have to confess that I often allow the fears of all we have left undone to taunt [even torment] my mind.
It. is. time. to. get. in. the. zone.
Here’s what I mean, and what has brought me to this place:
Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead, I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus. ~ Philippians 3: 13-14 ESVSome translations say “racing,” “striving,” “reaching,” “looking forward,” “sprinting,” or “fastening to the future.” All imply a “moving forward,” which has been our mantra for a while now.
Now, first, let me say what this does NOT mean: this does NOT mean forgetting Mike, and all of the past experiences and joys. [I still HATE the phrases “move on,” and “closure.”] However, as evidenced, TIME keeps moving us into SOMETHING, whether we are ready or not. And as a loving parent, I need to be able to lead my kids with love and discipline into the lives we are living NOW. We need to be “on the court,” so to speak.
So now is the time to play this game of life on offense. [not the being-offended offense – there’s already tooooo much of that ! But rather in faith-activated surrender, we press INTO all that God has already purposed — to reach that which lies in wait for us to move onto the court and take together, in full confidence.
In the fall, I began to do some things I’ve never done before: financial investments and asset protection. I want to know that my kids are secure should anything happen to me. I sought wisdom from Christian business leaders, and this made sense as an offensive move for our future.
In doing this, I was seen by a home health specialist, and realized that I’d gained THIRTY-SEVEN pounds since 2015. I knew I’d gained, but I had been afraid to step on the scale… until I was forced to. After that, I went on the offense, and since November 28th, I have lost eleven pounds, and I am being patient with myself, knowing that it may be March or April until I am back to my ideal health.
Grace. [with effort.]
Sooooo… here’s where this translates to LIFE and to school, and to busy mamas, and to feelings of failure, and to wondering if we measure up…
Once I was BRAVE enough to look at the scale [which cannot lie], I was just like, “Well alright, here we are. Here’s a new plan. Here we go. Let’s do this.”
Grace. [with effort.]
To this day (January 3, 2019), I have logged over 100 meals, not cheated on caloric intake, improved my water-drinking and vitamin-taking habits, and proven that daily disciplines are possible to execute with success.
THIS WEEK, the kids and I are taking EVERY CATEGORY “to the scale.” We are looking closely at the school goals that have are yet undone, and we are taking an honest evaluation into where we are TODAY with our important categories [health, education, spiritual disciplines, and activity]. I am examining my leadership with my business and giving it a healthy eval as well.
HERE’S the catch!
WE ARE NOT LOOKING BACKWARDS.
- How do we evaluate what is undone without looking backwards?
We are looking at what is required to make our hopes and goals for January through June accomplished…
THENNNNNNN, we will look at where we find holes from 2015 to today, and create a summer plan of action.
Grace. [with effort.]
Expectations and Reality have a constant tug o’ war with one another, so it’s vital to write out our non-negotiables : Are we growing into the people we are created to be? Are we living what we believe? Are we lighting the world in some small way as we are able? Is love and generosity increasing? Are we grateful?You can come up with your own.
It’s time to stop playing DEFENSE and get on the court with a NEW OFFENSIVE mindset.
2019 has great moments ahead, and we are striving [willing to put in the work and the action steps of faith], straining [giving our everything while rising from the having-been-strained experiences, each of us brighter and stronger], and moving forward, with our hope fastened to the future of God’s intended purposes. And His faithfulness continues to meet our steps forward, and draw us further on.
For this reason______________, I kneel. [teaching my kids to identify their daily reasons]
And then I rise in power. [this power supports us in the smallest daily actions to keep moving ahead]
It’s time to Get. In. The. Zone.
I hope you will, too. [I’d love to know what you are taking the court to take back in 2019. Cheering you on!]
His divine power has given us everything required for life and godliness through the knowledge of Him who called us by His own glory and goodness. ~ 2 Peter 1:3 HCSB
Oh, that we walk in FAVOR: Take a moment to listen to this song if you’d like to be inspired. I think that the kids and I need to do a cover of this together from our music room <3